bear with me

first post in a while. bear with me.

i recall that i deleted my previous post (which is my actual first post)
but what i don't recall is what it was about. is it your loss or mine? well, i don't really give a shit so i guess it's yours.

so what've i been up to lately? my daily interary consists of school, food, swim, school work,my studies, food, sleep
and x5. pretty repetitive, i know, but it keeps me from sitting on my ass for too long. weekends is pretty much the same minus the school replaced with extracurricular activities such as volunteer work, catching up on some tv and sleep, and of course, my personal favorite, studying. where has the spot for social activity and enactment? i don't know, why don't you look for it, you fucker. if i'm lucky and i'm doing absolutely nothing and my dear mother of mine cooperates with me, then i spend my leisure time wasting money on things that i'll rarely use (i.e. more shoes - preferably vans slip ons, earrings - which reminds me of the h&m ones i got before christmas; oops , wallets, socks, and miscellaneous jewelry)

sorry, as you can tell, the weather is slightly bitchy. bear with me.

this week was a bust. i've yet to put a good workout in ,and tryouts is next friday. i keep getting constant flashbacks from last year ,where i missed the varsity cut by a second. why yes, that one second put me on jv for the season. it felt good to kick major ass though. it did good for my self esteem until someone reminded me that i was swimming for jv. depressing.
also, i have this feeling that even after i've put countless hours studying, i've failed the slew of tests and essays my ap euro teacher decided to give us. i absolutely hate that gut feeling. it ruins my sleep. not only that, i feel some excess pounds on me.

according to my high school counselor, i'm on track to go to the likes of uci, university of la verne, and whittier.
(what's in whittier anyways?) please take no offense, but i'll never let myself go there. it just feels so degrading.
so as of right now, i'm in the middle of my stereotypical i-am-not-going-to-college-because.... phase. talk about annoying (even i find it so) but please, bear with me. i'm asian ,and it's only a part of my natural instinct that i do so.

now that i've reviewed what i just wrote, i realize that this isn't so much of a recap or me writing about something fantastic and cool that i did over the weekend (how some people snowboard, or how i just got a newly purchased so-and-so or how so-and-so is so cute) nope. instead, this first post of mine is nothing but. i'd classify this as a rant.
i do that alot. so bear with me.

finis