it's april

and i'm already looking forward to september. where i get to start fresh again. because apparently, i suck at everything - swim, school, life, etc.etc. you name it, you can count on me to do a terrible job. guaranteed.

for instance, this swim season is beyond disappointing. (and i can just picture myself looking back and thinking, geez, beyond?) i train harder, i go to more practices ...so what the hell's wrong with me? i don't think it's the decline in my attendance due to high school swim season, because i had that last year and i did fine. it's frustrating to be worst now than you were a year ago. especially since the volume in terms of work and sweat i've put in compared to last year. it sucks to suck at a meet. because it just totally kills your mood, your day, and those around you. and shit, i feel like i can't write because i have an english teacher that has done nothing in terms of improving my writing. great.

you know, since i'm on this. i might as well compare everything to the previous year. since this year is so shitty and all.

i'm not much in the mood to finish this post, as i am ...unmotivated to.
finis